Imperfect Scenarios Podcast
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Trying to make perfect sense of imperfect scenarios!
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Imperfect Scenarios Podcast
What If History Changed, Love Versus Stability, and the Humorous Evolution of Dating Standards
*LOST EPISODE season 1 Date: January 2020*
What if we could rewrite history? Imagine a world where pivotal events like the arrival of the first slave ship in America or the tragic assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. never happened. Join us as the entire crew of the Imperfect Scenarios podcast tackles these profound "what if" scenarios, sparking a lively debate on how history's darkest moments have shaped our identities and societal structures. We're not just playing with time; we're pondering the potential transformation of Africa without the scars of slavery and celebrating the indomitable spirit and creativity of Black ingenuity that has propelled global progress.
Switching gears, we dive into an age-old debate about love versus stability in marriage. Personal stories fly as we each weigh the scales between the intoxicating joy of love and the grounding safety of financial security. There's laughter, disagreement, and even a bit of wisdom as we question whether stability can fill the void of a deep emotional bond. We reflect on marriage as both an emotional journey and a pragmatic partnership, where finding the right balance between passion and practicality becomes a lifelong pursuit.
And of course, we can't ignore the hilarious world of dating standards, especially from a male perspective. You'll hear us banter about the minimal and often humorous standards men claim to hold, which seem to shift and bend with age. We toss around pop culture references and laugh about the unrealistic expectations that might just be relics of youth. Looking ahead, we're excited to bring in a female guest to round out the conversation and keep things balanced. Tune in to experience a thought-provoking and entertaining whirlwind of history, love, money, and the amusing evolution of relationship standards.
Thank you, I don't have the applause, so I know you guys are waiting for it. Oh, we can clap, we are back. This is Imperfect Scenarios podcast. Got the whole crew here today. It's been a while since we've all been together, right?
Speaker 3:Yo what up?
Speaker 1:Happy holidays.
Speaker 4:Oh, actually we was last week we were all together we was all together.
Speaker 1:last week we did a podcast over at G-Mac's house.
Speaker 4:That bachelor pad. Yeah, the bachelor pad oh ooh.
Speaker 1:He was missing like 30 minutes. No, it was like an hour.
Speaker 3:No, it's like an hour juice run. What happens in the pad stays in the pad.
Speaker 4:That's the targets around the corner.
Speaker 5:All right, you know I gotta start off with my what if?
Speaker 1:question. All right, this one is a two part question, so I don't think I'm supposed to ask in the two parts, but I want to break it in two parts. I know you, I know you guys by now and I want you to answer it the way I want you to answer it.
Speaker 4:That's not fair, because I know about asking it. I can answer it the way we want to Because I know about asking it.
Speaker 1:You guys are all because we seem like we're all the same. You guys, it's just boring. I just you know who's boring. He's boring. I'm not Call out my name, all right. So here's the question. The question is if you could go back in history and change something.
Speaker 4:what would you change Historically? I know?
Speaker 1:something in your life. That question is boring. No, no, it won't be it won't be.
Speaker 3:I like it.
Speaker 1:What would you change? Just think about all the things that happened. You got slavery, you got the Holocaust, you have. You got when the I guess the British came over and colonized everything.
Speaker 4:But you know, when you think about those questions like what would you change like in history, in your past, if you changed certain things, how would you be so sure that your life would be exactly the way it is right now?
Speaker 1:You're not sure.
Speaker 4:Right, so I like my life right now. I ain't changing.
Speaker 1:But. And.
Speaker 5:I'm good with the event that occurred.
Speaker 1:I like the story so the Supreme being comes down and says listen, you have to make a choice and to change something in history. What would you change? You don't think?
Speaker 3:things you would change. I know for a fact what I would change. I would go back to 1619, and I would stop that first ship from landing on the shores of America. Bringing those eight that survived slaves across the Middle Passage.
Speaker 1:Okay, you know what? Let's put a pin in that. I want to put it because I guess I want to talk about that a little bit, that whole situation. What about you, ness? You got it. What would you change? You wouldn't change nothing in history.
Speaker 5:What would you change Right?
Speaker 1:I think I would change the same thing. No, you know what? I wouldn't change that. What I would change is I think I would have changed something like stopping Martin Luther King from getting assassinated, because I just think I think what happened to as far as slavery we need that in our souls to you know who we are? That basically makes it who we are. We changed that, don't tell me what we would be.
Speaker 4:You don't think like Martin Luther King getting shot like if he would have lived to continue.
Speaker 1:Do you think that it would have made such a huge impact on our history if he were still alive, I think some certain things would have been changed, because if you think about all the things that was going on during that era you have the boycotts going on, you have all these like key things that were going in our favor and how we all came together as people After that. After that, the 60s, that was it. There's nothing else that really kept us together. Who can we look to and say you know what? This is our person, this is who we're going to get to the next level? It's nobody. Tupac Okay, seriously, think about it. After Martin Luther King, who was that person? Don't say Jesse Jackson, okay, exactly. So who was that person? I think we would have went a little bit further. I think he started us in the right direction and then, once he left, it kind of like— I think it's just like what we were talking about the last podcast with Black Wall Street.
Speaker 3:As soon as integration happened, all of that power we lost. That's true. We lost it in our churches, we lost it in our communities, and we've been the same thing with Reverend King. Rest his soul. You know, once integration started happening, it's kind of like they reached that promised land and then we stopped being core participants of one another. So I don't know. I mean, it's a good choice. It's a double-edged sword though.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, you take slavery away, we We'd just be sitting on the coast of Africa. What Chucking spears? I don't know, but you're missing the ingenuity that we have.
Speaker 3:Just imagine. If all our ingenuity was in the motherland and not here, because we essentially helped build this country, why couldn't we do that in Africa? It's so desolate right now, but all our engineers, all of our musicians, all of our athletics, all of that in the motherland. What.
Speaker 1:Well, you think about it. Let's think about it. If you stop slavery, a lot of things would not be here today. You may not have Cuba, you may not have Puerto Rico, you may not have Puerto Rico would still be here. Well you're Portuguese, right, exactly. So you see what I'm saying. I'm saying the Puerto Ricans, we know, or the Cuba, as we know, or the places that's like Afro-Latina, they're gone.
Speaker 3:But you think we wouldn't have explored, you don't think we would have left the shores of Africa on our own accord?
Speaker 1:No, I think we would have and settled in other places in the country, but it won't be like yeah, but I don't think it would be to this degree.
Speaker 3:And that could be good because, those countries are, I mean all of them, you know, with the exception of Puerto Rico a bit. They all have, you know, living, you know, slightly below the poverty line.
Speaker 5:So I mean that's not what you want anyway. Ultimately Right. Wow, Puerto Rico is as well. They're in the same boat.
Speaker 1:Yes, so, okay. So G-Max says slavery. What about you, Nancy? Would you change his thing?
Speaker 5:I think I'm going to go full-off feminist and say that I would change the recognition of women and women's rights earlier.
Speaker 1:Oh, I would have, because I think that wins. Give me a century.
Speaker 5:I mean, let's just say, the inception of, you know, the United States Constitution. I'm thinking political policy-wise 1700s yeah 1700s. I think that women would have been such an instrumental part in changing and developing this country and, honestly, I think we would be way far ahead.
Speaker 1:Oh Wait, you ever ride with a female and you sit in the back seat. I think that's how it would be. Oh shit, Really.
Speaker 2:No, I'm joking.
Speaker 3:I'm keeping my mouth shut right now.
Speaker 1:No, no, maybe no, you're right. You're actually right, because a lot of the Guys we make decisions based off of power. I think a lot of those things with women is more emotional and it probably would take some more thought to it.
Speaker 5:So, yeah, you might be right, you might be on to something and I think just the power differential, you know, sometimes, depending on the woman or the man they could be, women can be more rational. I think men are a little bit more impulsive when it comes to power and authority. I know you disagree because you're going to. You're going to say that we think more emotionally and that's irrational. You do think emotionally. You got to talk percentages.
Speaker 3:Most women do think more emotionally Right and most men do think more, you know, rationally and structurally.
Speaker 5:No, no, who said you meant, you Note that two people saying no in the room?
Speaker 3:I don't know.
Speaker 1:I mean that's a good thing. What 1700s? So you would stop the 1700s and you would I would incorporate women. Women into the whole. I guess the whole process with the Constitution probably would have been Absolutely.
Speaker 5:Maybe it might have looked different, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Maybe, yeah, okay, all right.
Speaker 2:All right. What about you? I don't think I would change anything.
Speaker 1:You wouldn't change anything, nothing.
Speaker 2:Nothing at all, no.
Speaker 1:I don't think so Not off the top of my head, man, you selfish.
Speaker 3:Yeah, bro, what about you? There's so many bad things that happen in this world.
Speaker 1:He's like I just keep it to say what about you, peaches?
Speaker 4:Maybe back to the time we'll push it like back where uh people of color could own land. Oh okay, like because you see, and it's still slowly moving forward, very, very slowly, but you know, just to us to be able to own something versus us being the property. So I think that I would, I would push that, push that back back to earlier.
Speaker 1:That's where. I hear something. Y'all hear something in the background.
Speaker 4:Those are those voices that you've been taking on the medication, for that's where.
Speaker 5:I hear something. Did you take your medication?
Speaker 4:I know I ain't going crazy. I was like no, I don't hear that at all.
Speaker 1:Okay. So we all know. You all said what you would change. Okay, now I'm going to throw the second piece to it. You guys are strong about this, right Strong, Okay? So let's say that you changing this would stop your parents from meeting and you ever being born. Would you still change it?
Speaker 4:No, well duh, didn't we just say no? Which?
Speaker 3:is a very big show so I'm gonna say I'm gonna go on a limb and say I would. I would still change it right because I think it may not be me personally, but it would be some you know other reincarnation of me, somewhere somehow, and I'd rather see our people less. You know the struggles that we've gone through all these centuries. Right now I'd rather see that lessened, right, you know, for the good.
Speaker 1:I think I was, I think I was.
Speaker 3:Oh, she's snoring.
Speaker 1:No, honestly, I think I would change it too. You know why? Just hold hands. I think I would change it also because I mean honestly just one of those things where that's like ultimately it's being selfish, Like I think I would change it, I wouldn't care, Like, think about it, it's not like you're going to be in pain, you just won't exist. That just won't happen.
Speaker 4:Then all of your lives would be empty if I wasn't in it, oh please, but think about it.
Speaker 1:Think about the power that that gives you to do something like that, to change something like that. I think I would do it. I was promised that everything would change and turn out the way I thought it was going to turn out. I would do it, the greater good.
Speaker 3:I like that Good answer.
Speaker 1:There you go, bam Bam, all right. So that leads us to the main topic. Mac, you guys are dry as hell.
Speaker 3:So we have an excellent, excellent topic today and it kind of is two-faceted. But we can break it down pretty simply, you know should you marry for what we call love and being broke, versus being, let's say, not loved and rich, Right? So there's kind of two philosophies here. Do you marry for love or do you marry for wealth? Do you marry for romance and love or do you marry for wealth and riches and being secure? So that's the topic and we've already had some pretty intense debate already. But hey, the table's open, let's go for this one.
Speaker 1:This is big and I got some stats after we start going Okay, uh-oh, what about you, nessa, let's go with you, because you was very vocal.
Speaker 5:I was vocal because, first of all, I have a problem with the fact that we're at the two extremes, Like why can't there be a happy medium here?
Speaker 2:Okay, let's talk about the extremes in time we should start off with defining broke right.
Speaker 4:Okay, I like that okay yes, that's, good, so broke doesn't mean my broke may be different than broke doesn't mean you're living on the street right but.
Speaker 3:But? But you know the feeling you have when you're you're secure and you you have. You know you have retirement funds, you have the ability. You're not living week to week and you're very, very secure and you don't. So put it like this money is not an object in your life. You can afford everything you need to, and some luxuries as well. So that's the antithesis of being broke.
Speaker 1:So broke would basically be living check to check Exactly Okay. So now we know that's our definition for the listeners.
Speaker 5:What about you, ness?
Speaker 3:I feel like, if we're going to, use those words, then I, I would rather marry for love, but stability is something that is important.
Speaker 5:That's an important facet of marriage. If you're going to take the big step and marry someone, I think stability and security is not an option.
Speaker 1:It is it has to occur. Okay, Peaches you smiling. What about you? I wish we had a video. You can see these faces.
Speaker 4:you gotta see these faces, but wait isn't there, like you know, people who are considered I guess with our definition broke that are living in a paycheck. They still can be financially free, right Like if all their bills are paid and they're setting money aside.
Speaker 1:You trying to put.
Speaker 3:I'm trying to help out the broke brothers. These are people who are living paycheck to paycheck.
Speaker 2:Can.
Speaker 3:I go last.
Speaker 1:Okay, what about you Flyboy, what's up? Okay, what about you fly boy, what's up?
Speaker 2:well, um, I probably. I don't know if I would marry for love now that I'm at the age that I am now. Um, probably stability.
Speaker 3:So you're saying it's different than when? Oh yeah, yeah, probably probably would be like oh you know, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 2:Exactly, I'm in love and nothing matters, but bills need to get paid and shit needs to be done, so I would have to choose, quote unquote, wealth then I guess.
Speaker 4:You learn to love.
Speaker 2:Come on, tice, come on, bring it home. Yeah, I can learn to love, bring it home bro, I can learn to love.
Speaker 3:You can learn, bro, I can learn to love. You can learn to love.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's hard to love somebody when you just don't love no, but that's not true.
Speaker 5:That's not true.
Speaker 2:You don't think so, me being the way I am, it takes me a long time to even get to that point. If you're going to sit and wait for me to fall in love with you, you're going to be waiting for a long ass time.
Speaker 4:So I'm going to marry my ass now, and then I'll just grow into it Grow into it.
Speaker 1:I don't know. You know what. I've been broke. I've been broke before and I've been in love before.
Speaker 4:What about at the same time?
Speaker 1:Yeah, at the same time actually, yeah, so I don't know I think anybody know me money is not really a big thing. To me, like I don't really. Money is not nothing and and I I learned to make it work being broke and but I know I think it would have been harder on me if I was broke and not in love, as opposed to being broke in and love.
Speaker 4:That's just fucked up.
Speaker 3:You broke in and out.
Speaker 4:Horrible life.
Speaker 1:So I think I've seen people with money be miserable in their relationship. They're miserable and you see all these people that are killing themselves and they're rich.
Speaker 4:I saw this meme one time and it was like it says. I know money doesn't buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Range Rover.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but think about it, I don't know Honestly.
Speaker 1:I'd rather be broken in love. That's just me. Money is good, money is nice, but after money you want to be able to. I know you're going to say you could spend the money with the person you with. It's just not the same if you don't have a relationship with that person. To me it's just, it's just not the same with the young. Don't have a relationship with that person? Just not. To me it's just not. I've been broke before and had fun with the person I'm in love with, so you know. So it to me that is. I mean, money is not everything. Money don't. It's just a root of all evils. To me it starts a whole other problem. That's it when you broke when you broke that's how you talk when you broke.
Speaker 2:That's how you talk, right? I don't see myself falling in love, so I do you take the money hell yeah you take the money.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that's right yeah, it's just, it's just a lot it just comes with a lot.
Speaker 3:I don't think it has to do. I don't even see that in you, bro.
Speaker 5:I'll be honest I don't See, I don't feel like, see, gmac and I were talking before you guys got here, and it's not that it has to do with the money, but when you look at marriage, Stability. It doesn't. It's business.
Speaker 2:Marriage is a business, it is a business this is true, it is a business, and you have to be able to survive a lifetime and sustain a lifetime.
Speaker 5:You talk about children and um property, everything yeah, yeah, you need that stability.
Speaker 3:So I I really finances are a big factor, so I'm gonna be honest. So if I had to choose right now and there was a woman that represented being you know, quote unquote successful, but maybe you know not, someone who I would be that deep kind of soulmate experience in love with and a woman who I would feel that deep kind of soulmate experience in love with, and a woman who I would feel that deep soulmate experience but she ain't really doing nothing for herself. I know for a fact the kind of person I am. I'm going to choose the person who's moving forward, has upward mobility, and maybe I won't have that deep soul connection, but I know that we'll be successful as a team, as a couple and navigating through this life.
Speaker 4:Do you have enough money where you could go be with the one who?
Speaker 3:will see you now.
Speaker 1:Now you're talking about. Let's just say you can't dip off, let's just say whatever reason you can't have no size, no stuff. Can you really be happy with somebody that you're just not happy with and spend money and just not be happy with them? You?
Speaker 4:can find the good in everyone to enjoy your time no you can, you can find. If there's nothing, obviously you don't have a history or whatever. You can find the good and play on that and hang out. There's certain parts of everyone that you're going to connect with.
Speaker 1:Why all these celebrities are getting divorces. There are other factors.
Speaker 5:There's too much availability in their lifestyle, so they have everything else available to them.
Speaker 1:That's what we're going with.
Speaker 5:That's where I'm going with that. What I was going to say is it is possible because you have cultures that have arranged marriages and they're successful.
Speaker 1:Well, I know two people that have arranged marriages and they're miserable.
Speaker 3:Are they broke?
Speaker 1:No, they're not broke either. Whoa.
Speaker 3:All right. So we got to go with the stats. This is killing me now. So a survey, recent survey by MarketWatch, very reputable organization, said that in this survey, 56% of Americans say they want a partner who provides financial security more than head over heels love. 44% said they prefer the head over heels love versus financial security.
Speaker 4:So you could see the way America's doing. But I could also agree with to see where you're at in your life. In my 20s, my answer would probably be different. You know what I mean, because you're not as jaded, I guess, or you're not as experienced. But when you get closer to, when you're in your late 30s and your 40s, it's a little bit different.
Speaker 3:You hit the nail on the head because they did break it down generationally and they said usually by the time you hit 30, that's when your thinking starts to change a bit more toward financial security. But this new generation, generation Z, like we just said if you're real young. You still head over heels love. They could care less about money and everything else, but they're not really making money at that point they don't know what money is.
Speaker 1:I guess you probably got to touch the money to know what it means.
Speaker 3:I just find it crazy, it's funny.
Speaker 1:Women, you guys tend to be gold diggers.
Speaker 3:No, I'm joking.
Speaker 5:What is with the shots to women today?
Speaker 4:No, it's fine, we need your gun. No, I don't have it I can put it in there.
Speaker 3:But one more point, though, going back to arranged marriages, because this is important. This survey also cited that 86% of arranged marriages stay together over the longer term, versus only 40% of non-arranged marriages well, is that because of the cultural piece?
Speaker 5:it might be cultural, though I think they cheat on each other, or maybe they just work.
Speaker 3:Maybe it works because the parents are saying this husband and this wife put them together. This is the kind of mesh they we're thinking they're going to make?
Speaker 5:They don't really have a choice though they don't have a choice.
Speaker 3:But you know it's being done from a business perspective versus romance.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of cultures like you got to give them a certain amount of money to the family.
Speaker 3:Yeah, already, yeah.
Speaker 5:So I mean.
Speaker 1:I can see it working.
Speaker 5:I don't know, I don't know if I could do an arranged marriage. Can you do an arranged marriage? I don't know, I don't know if I could do that.
Speaker 4:I don't think so. I don't know, it's not a part of my culture.
Speaker 1:You could do it.
Speaker 4:You know why, you guys said you were married for money, so said financial stability, stability. Now you're doing wordplay.
Speaker 5:I just like that word better. Now you're doing wordplay.
Speaker 1:Financial stability. So you can't do one but you can do the other. That don't make sense. So you're saying you can get an arranged marriage but you can marry for money.
Speaker 4:But the thing is, there's different. I can see where you're going with that point, but there's also you have a choice with the person, like do you vibe with them on some kind of level, just like I was saying?
Speaker 1:let's just say you don't vibe on no level but then how are you even dating just?
Speaker 3:that's what a range arranged marriage. But I'm saying like when you're talking about love versus you know money.
Speaker 4:Like you have a choice of your partner yeah, that's just true.
Speaker 1:But if you but I guess I guess back you correct me wrong you were saying that if you had to choose between the person you were in love with and the person with money, who would you choose, right?
Speaker 4:well, I didn't even give my answer and you're like okay, I'm sorry, give your answer give your answer, she's changing her answer I never said an answer. Hello, I don't you know. I know what it's like to be broke. I also know what it's like to have stability. I honestly would say that it's much more fulfilling to be broke and in love.
Speaker 3:Wow, wow.
Speaker 4:Wow, it really is, and I would probably choose that.
Speaker 3:And live check to check.
Speaker 4:But live happily ever after.
Speaker 5:Do you guys think that people fall out of love in time? I think that's the history of your marriage.
Speaker 4:You fall out, you fall back in.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's definitely true when you marry you fall out in love, you hate the person to death and then next thing you know you're back in love with them. It's like a roller coaster.
Speaker 3:See, I got to challenge. I have to challenge this one, though. So if you had a binary choice of two men sitting here right now, One man was you connected to him whatever way. Maybe you called love or sold me, but he just wasn't successful. He wasn't doing his thing and there was no chance of him ever being successful. Right Versus the man where, okay, I'm not clicking so much, I'm not getting the goosebumps or whatever, but I know we're going to have stability, we're going to have a great family, we're going to buy a wonderful house, we're going to live a great future. Which would you choose again?
Speaker 4:I would choose the love. I am a sucker for goosebumps.
Speaker 1:Bam.
Speaker 4:You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Not here, not here. You say, you ain't got no goosebumps. But you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:There's different levels of wealth. I get what everybody's saying like yes, and it's absolutely amazing to be in a situation where you don't have to worry about anything right. If I had to choose, like if those were my choices, I would choose to live long with my partner, who gives me goosebumps every day and my heart still flutters when I see him walk into the room versus having a house that I'm like fuck, I'm home.
Speaker 1:This nigga's about to come in you know what. I mean, I got a 12-bedroom house. I want to hide from this guy, but I would choose love every time.
Speaker 3:Wow, okay, I love that, I mean stability.
Speaker 1:I mean I get the whole financial stability and you live comfortable. But that's all empty stuff to me.
Speaker 2:To me it's just empty. I'll just stay single and make my own shit and make my own money and buy my own shit.
Speaker 5:So for me, that's what it comes down to right. Because we talked about like being at a point in your life and I think that has to do with like a certain age, once you hit a certain age, but being at a point in your life where you have accomplished such and such and such and it's like you want some of that in your partner because you want to be able to grow together.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 5:You want to be able to be successful together, and it is about being a team. I 100% agree with that. Yeah, and being, you know, a power couple. I'm all about that.
Speaker 2:I'm with you, sister.
Speaker 5:That gives me goosebumps All right.
Speaker 3:Boom, I'm in this I'm in this, okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, now I'm going to challenge you guys there.
Speaker 3:But wait one point before you say that. Hold that thought, because I want to ask y'all one more question. So think of when you lighten a firecracker and you have this light going to the firecracker. Does love and someone asked this question already does love ever wear out? Because if you have financial stability that lasts, we're talking about forever. Right, but can love actually wear?
Speaker 4:out, but that's not guaranteed forever either, right.
Speaker 1:Somebody's leaving. If somebody leaves, who's getting the money?
Speaker 5:We can't in half.
Speaker 1:See exactly.
Speaker 4:Financial stability is never promised either right, like it's there for and you can plan, but it's not always guaranteed. Yeah, just like love may never be guaranteed, so you could play both sides of that.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, I mean she said that. She summed it up Like what do you want to do? Like, like, honestly, if you broke and she leaves, what's she taking?
Speaker 2:Wait did it, versus like she's taking it.
Speaker 4:He's like what's half of zero?
Speaker 1:Nothing from nothing leads you with nothing Negative one, so you got to look at it that way.
Speaker 5:If you want love.
Speaker 4:That's what he said before. What happens with half of nothing.
Speaker 1:Half of nothing. You ain't getting nothing. We will part our ways.
Speaker 3:Y'all making me rethink this whole thing and I don't want to, but seriously you got the money.
Speaker 1:At the end of the day, it's just money. Like you happy yes, you happy you could do things that you want, but you got to, honestly, I mean.
Speaker 4:There's obviously benefits on the money side. You know I'm not saying it's terrible, right, but I think that the other side outweighs, because you have to be with this person. You're planning to live until you're 90 or 100. Like that love and that energy, like that is going to give you longevity. You know me stressing out being with someone you're not, you don't love and like being upset all the time, that's going to shorten your lifespan so I'm gonna, I'm gonna throw this at tyson as a as a father a man.
Speaker 5:Check this out.
Speaker 3:Your daughter, your beloved daughter. We choose any one of them. She comes to you and says Dad, I fell in love with this guy and I'm going to throw a name at you silently. I'm not going to say the name over there.
Speaker 3:Okay, this is the guy she's bringing to the table right. And's this other guy who's who's? You know, courting her and everything. Nice young man, you know he's, he's going to school, he's gonna get his phd, you know he, he may not be the most attractive dude, but he's, he's focused. He won't, he's not gonna cheat on her, he's gonna treat her good, but you know he's gonna have stability in the long run. What are you gonna say to your baby.
Speaker 1:First of all, the day that you threw at me, he got all kinds of issues, but let's just talk about the broke issue. That's different. Why are you speaking from a father, right? Right, because what we want our children to go through and learn and endure is totally different than what we believe in ourselves. So, yes, I would like my daughter to go with the doctor who's going to be stable, who's going to put her in a mansion, but that's my choice. But I would hope she would make the choice. That's, you know, part of her heart, you know.
Speaker 4:That's tough too. Like I have a daughter but I don't know if I would steer her in the way of like being a situation where she is there for finances. You know what I'm saying. Like you know, of course they're going to make their own decision, but I can't look my baby girl in the eye and be like you need to find someone who has a bunch of money and is going to take care of you. Like I want her to be happy and loved and be able to navigate that system.
Speaker 4:Right, I don't know I'll throw her some of mine like we want our kids so you can be happy and in love. Don't share that. We want our kids to be happy.
Speaker 1:We want our kids to be happy, we want them to go to college, we want them to graduate, we want them to be doctors, we want them to be lawyers. But ultimately it's their decision, and I would hope she would make decisions based off of what she feel in her heart and not what I want, because, yeah, you're right, I do want her to stay away from that guy, I want her to go with the doctor, I want her to drive in the Range Rovers and I want her to do all this other stuff. But I know, realistically— there's a lot of stuff that comes with that.
Speaker 1:Right and realistically, she's going to do what she's wanted. Naturally, girls, your daughters's going to end up with that person. I'm not going to like it.
Speaker 3:And I hate to sound superficial about it, but the reality is, and I've even had girls tell me, you know, if I pulled up to their house in a hoopty, because at that point I had a BMW and I was running around and I would come pick them up and they'd be all cavalier about it and happy. But if same person I pull up in a hoopty, you know, come pick them up and they'd be all, like you know, cavalier about it and happy. But if same person I pull up in a hoopty, you know how would you have felt about that? And I've had women tell me I don't know, I would have thought twice about that. Like you know, I want to see success in the man that I'm with Listen.
Speaker 4:my husband showed up to the first date with a wrinkled ass T-shirt with a hole in it and some fucking beat up sneakers and he said take me or leave me.
Speaker 2:And what did you do? And you married, aren't you?
Speaker 4:but listen, that's what I'm saying. It was for love, obviously, because I was like okay, what? Because you know? So then, but you know, you get to know them and it's a different, you know. Then you start to worry less about those material things.
Speaker 1:Did you see through that? Did you see through that?
Speaker 4:what do you mean? Like so you, okay, he showed up, he's still dressed the same way right, but did you see through it?
Speaker 1:because sometimes you could see a person dressed like a just say I would say quote, unquote, bummy, but you know they got money. Like you could look at a person and know that yeah, okay, you look dirty, but you smell like you smell like uh uh georgio, uh, vizente or some kind of um cologne, but you, I didn't know that at first.
Speaker 4:I I mean at first, like he drove a pretty okay car. It was like, you know, an Infiniti, but it wasn't like a BMW or something like that where you could be like, oh, like you know what I mean Because I had my own car. You know what I mean. So it wasn't that stuff did not impress me. You know, eventually, like later on down the still you're getting to know them, but first impression, like he didn't come up with no BMW or like a Mercedes, like he came with a and I'd crack up and I'd talk to him, we'd joke about it.
Speaker 3:I'm like yo, you lucky you got a second date because you came like you were wrinkled and Right.
Speaker 4:He's like you take me or you leave me, right I?
Speaker 5:can't do a damn hole in a shirt, don't you come out? Listen, he's still got the damn shirt hanging in the closet like it's an artifact, I'd be like can I put this away?
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's like. No, it's our first day shirt.
Speaker 4:It has a bigger hole.
Speaker 1:So okay, you say you can't do a hole in a shirt. Because I don't go out like that so when he takes you out, you want him to look presentable.
Speaker 5:This is my theory okay we are out together. We are a representation of each other okay, I like that. I'm not gonna come out here having you looking crazy, and I would expect the same, thank you okay, I tried that so one of the guys people still think I'm a prostitute, oh shit.
Speaker 3:So raunchy ass right they be.
Speaker 1:He's presentable in a way, but he's just not dressed the way you want him to dress. Because that happens a guy come out, let's just say he comes out with a a button up, with a butterfly collar, and he's just looking like right, as long as you're clean he's clean and as long as your clothes don't look like you just took them out of the dumpster or the hamper, we're good.
Speaker 5:Okay, like you know fashion sense and things like that. Like I'm not that shallow, you know we can work on that over time.
Speaker 1:However, You're not with some pointy shoes or some corduroys.
Speaker 5:Well, I wouldn't have talked to him in the first place.
Speaker 4:I was like you're changing an aspect of that person, like right, right, I didn't have the heart to do that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but the point is, you shouldn't be judging a book by its cover, right, no, right. That's essentially the point. Right, you got to let them live.
Speaker 4:You can wear whatever you want. As long as we get this date night off, we good.
Speaker 5:You can wear whatever you want when you're not with me. Don't wear that hole in your shirt when we're together. Really, I don't know Seriously my God Ness you're starting to sound really shallow.
Speaker 1:That's terrible, sorry, oops, jesus Christ, we need the camera right now. You need to have money.
Speaker 4:You got to dress right, you can't have no hole in the shirt.
Speaker 1:It can't be wr. You know what. This is actually a topic that I want to talk about. I think we need a whole hour. A lot of women these days have so high standards of what they want yes, lord and they're not willing to budge. So I want to talk about it because I know several women what's the point of you looking at me? For I know several women in their upper 40s and they're still single, but their standards are so high and they're not willing to budge. Why are you women not willing to budge on certain things? Because they got a vibrator Right, hello.
Speaker 2:Woo-hoo. Okay, hey, I know girls like that. They're like well, shit, Cut to the chase.
Speaker 1:Well you're going to be 72 using a vibrator.
Speaker 4:Hey, hey, hey. If we gave grandma one, she would use it. You're right.
Speaker 2:Your grandma.
Speaker 1:Yeah, listen, I'll tell you about my grandmother.
Speaker 2:Hey, Don't judge a book by its cover.
Speaker 1:Like we said that's another story, that's another story, that's another story.
Speaker 5:My grandmother's off the hook. But, so but so a lot of grandma. So is that a high standard to expect a man to come out without a hole in his shirt?
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no. I'm just saying, I'm just. That was just one of the things I was just talking about. I know a lot of women that are at the age where you were like, okay, you might want to be married now, but there's you. Listen to the reasons why when a guy does this.
Speaker 2:Well, unrealistic expectations? No, it's realistic.
Speaker 1:But if you don't find it, if you get to a certain age. I think you need to lower your standards. Some people are not willing to lower their standards. I know one girl I hope she doesn't listen to my podcast, I'm not going to say her name she wants Say it. Yeah right, I'll do it. She wants a guy who has to be muscular, he has to be dark-skinned, he has to be tall.
Speaker 2:Those are basics.
Speaker 1:No, it's not really basic because, you believe it or not, you exed out a lot of people, right, you exed out a lot of people and she was not budged. He has to be a certain look.
Speaker 2:That's stupid because you can get into the gym and get pumped up.
Speaker 1:But I guess her thing is, if I can't make it past the first initial visit or the meeting, it's not going to happen. And she really to this day and she's in like 44, 45, and she's like well, I didn't find the right person yet See superficial women.
Speaker 3:I run away from like that that's so superficial. I run away from that Like fast, right Because.
Speaker 1:Right, because I mean the looks is one thing, but like how long this looks last, like come on, what's gonna happen? She would not budge you, you know, you hinted, she would not budge but she's not the only person I know about.
Speaker 4:Probably something else wrong with her.
Speaker 5:Like, then, like she's probably very insecure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know, but and I know, I know another female, another female who she's not going to date you unless you were, like an ex street person.
Speaker 3:I mean I can yeah yeah, I've had women tell me that too right, but, but you still.
Speaker 1:but you cut out a lot of people, Still, you still. You cut out a lot of people.
Speaker 4:Like you said, you gotta be in jail, you get murdered. Oh fuck that.
Speaker 2:I don't think I want that.
Speaker 1:Let's not go that far be the next victim. Right exactly your house get raided. You wonder why he'd be like ooh, I'll bail you out, baby so that's gonna be, I think, the next. The next topic is next week is gonna be that I wanna talk to you guys. I wanna pick your brains actually. I wanna, actually, I want some, maybe some guests too also okay, we can do that.
Speaker 2:I want some um, maybe some uh guests too also okay, um, we can do that.
Speaker 1:I want some guests and I want to. I want to rotate them. I want, we're going, we're gonna make it a little deeper. We're never gonna make it a little deeper. So you guys do your research go deeper, do your research and I really want to know what is. What is the? Why can't you change from your standards? Because I think guys are willing to change it guys, we don't really have no standards.
Speaker 3:You don't have standards, we don't, we have standards but, we know how to be flexible.
Speaker 4:We're flexible with our standards. Do you have a pussy okay?
Speaker 5:check what's wrong with that. That's a standard check.
Speaker 2:That's all you need. Does she have a pussy?
Speaker 1:yes, okay, like does she have a pussy? Yes, okay, good, you can't work with that. Check, check. So you know.
Speaker 5:I think men have different standards when they're younger. I think young men have like really stupid, unrealistic standards and then as you get older, you guys kind of, are a little bit more flexible.
Speaker 4:What's that song we were singing? Well, I was telling you that guy who was like I don't have a type Bad bitches is the only thing that I like, that's a standard, that's a standard, all you got to do is be a bad bitch.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, I guess most people have standards, but I guess we're going to say that for next time. I think that'd be a good topic. I'm trying to bring a guest. We could try to see if we could get real deeper into it.
Speaker 5:I think it should be another female. Let's equalize the number. It could be another female. It could be a couple females what we can do.
Speaker 1:We can rotate the mics, whatever we can get it going and see what happens.
Speaker 3:Bring them on. Bring them on.
Speaker 1:So that's going to be the next topic. We're going to see what's the deal with standards. Can standards be altered and your standards?
Speaker 3:Oh, I love it, love it.
Speaker 1:How's that I have the perfect person to call. Oh well, I guess that's all I have to say Bye.