Navigating Holidays, Relationships, and Laughter Amidst COVID-19

*Lost Episode*

What happens when holiday plans are thwarted by the unexpected twists of COVID-19? Gather around as we share our own tales of canceled festivities and the comedy that ensues when rapid tests keep us on our toes. This episode kicks off the new year with laughter and a sense of optimism as we navigate through the ongoing pandemic. With personal anecdotes about playful jealousy and work dynamics, we embrace the reality of COVID-19’s transition to an endemic situation, inviting you to join us in setting a hopeful tone for what lies ahead.

Gift-giving during the holidays can be a hilarious minefield, especially within family dynamics. We debate the curious art of categorizing gift recipients and whether luxury cars or everyday vehicles make better presents. Our conversation doesn't shy away from the complexities of gift-giving with ex-partners. From ensuring the child gets involved in the process to managing boundaries in co-parenting relationships, we explore how to navigate these tricky waters while keeping the peace and respect intact.

Love, relationships, and everything in between—how do we recognize red flags and embrace personal growth? With a blend of humor and introspection, we tackle the importance of honesty and self-awareness when moving on from past relationships. Then, we venture into the colorful world of sexual preferences and preferences, exploring everything from sensual satisfaction to unconventional practices. Through these candid discussions, we encourage listeners to reflect on their own relationship dynamics and approach to intimacy, all while keeping the conversation light-hearted yet insightful.

Transcript

Life Changes & Challenges Amidst COVID

Speaker 1 0:00

right at work and he was like well , how many boys work with you ? I said I have like all cashiers , all girls and like one man . And he was like he sure did . He said I'm going to use my father's car and come over to your job and see what you're doing .

Speaker 3 0:16

I said that was why they didn't do it .

Speaker 4 0:17

He's jelly , I like that he's got a little jelly side to him ownership of his stuff .

Speaker 5 0:21

He's like you belong to me .

Speaker 1 0:24

He showed a gif of somebody cocking a gun and pointing it at somebody , I was like , oh you crazy .

Speaker 5 0:30

And he starts laughing . You like what I like ? Yeah .

Speaker 2 0:34

As you can see , we back Imperfect Scenarios 2022 . What up , what up ? We're back , we're back .

Speaker 1 0:47

What's poppin' people . What's poppin' hey ?

Speaker 2 0:48

Yeah , yeah , 2022 , a new year , new beginnings , new everything 2022 . Well , we certainly missed recording .

Speaker 4 0:55

We missed our audience .

Speaker 3 0:56

I missed y'all . We missed you guys too .

Speaker 4 0:59

I missed y'all so much .

Speaker 5 1:01

We missed you too . Boo , we're back , we're boo .

Speaker 2 1:04

We're back , we're back , we're back . I guess we should reintroduce ourselves . I guess I am Tyson , aka Perfect Scenario .

Speaker 4 1:17

Ness aka J Boogie .

Speaker 5 1:20

D Weezy , aka Peaches .

Speaker 1 1:25

And I'm Flyboy .

Speaker 2 1:27

G-Mac , g-money . All right , here we go , here we go . So it's a new year , a new beginning . Hopefully we can be more consistent with our recordings and see if we can get things popping . A lot of things have changed New beginnings , new relationships , relationships , new everything , new lies . Everybody you know look like , look like actually you guys look like you fit . Some people lost weight maybe , I guess I'm assuming he must be looking over there at G-Money let's do everything . New resolutions , peloton .

Speaker 3 1:59

Peloton , I'll do that too .

Speaker 4 2:01

Peloton that's the new thing yeah , peloton that's for rich people .

Speaker 1 2:05

Yeah , I'm not , I'm not messing with that are you there like cycling with your screen .

Speaker 4 2:09

What ?

Speaker 3 2:10

is that how that works ? Look at my instagram . Look at my instagram , you will see I'm actually gonna go look right now you know , actually I didn't put that picture up so it's 2022 .

Speaker 2 2:23

we just came , came off the holidays . Of course we got Christmas . How was your guys' holidays ? How was everybody's holidays ? Anybody do anything special ? No , no .

Speaker 4 2:34

I had to cancel my plans . We were all sick over here . Covid , covid , oh , yes , well we tested negative for COVID , but I don't know .

Speaker 1 2:42

I feel like it was lingering . I don't know . I feel like it was lingering . Well , did you do the rapid ? Because the rapids are coming back .

Speaker 4 2:47

I did both Rapid and PCR and they were negative .

Speaker 2 2:50

But you know what it is . A lot of people forget that we still get other things out there Of course there's flu and everything like that . True , and I think that's a lot of things . Every time somebody starts coughing and sneezing , they'd be like , ah , you got covid , but you forget that the world , that everything else ain't changed , like it's still things out there . Would anybody anybody get covid over the week ? If you want to share did you get ?

Speaker 1 3:11

did you get covid ?

Speaker 2 3:12

I got covid no which one you get .

Speaker 1 3:14

You get that . You got what they call it the marion or the omicron . They didn't tell me , so they didn't tell me , I didn't care .

Speaker 2 3:22

But wait , when you test positive , they don't tell you which one it is no , it doesn't .

Speaker 1 3:27

I was looking at my results and it didn't say it didn't specify .

Speaker 5 3:30

I mean , do you care ? No , I don't think you care , I just like I actually do care obviously I think it's like a talking topic .

Speaker 2 3:37

I want to be like , yeah , I had I had the Omarion like you want to say that .

Speaker 4 3:43

Don't you want to ?

Speaker 2 3:44

I know it's Omicron but I'm just saying I want to say like I got this , I got the Delta , I got this . You want to be able to pinpoint it right . You got COVID , that's it , that's it .

Speaker 3 3:55

Yeah , but Delta and Omarion are very , very , very different .

Speaker 1 3:59

I might have had Omicron , Omarion , so again .

Speaker 4 4:04

I tested negative and I want to say like maybe six months into the pandemic I went and got that antibody test . Now , I never got sick . But my doctor was like listen , bitch , you got antibodies .

Speaker 5 4:16

And I was like oh , that's what happened to me too . I was never sick In the very beginning .

Speaker 1 4:21

Yeah , but not everyone gets the symptoms . That's it In the very beginning . Yeah , but you don't . Not everyone gets the symptoms .

Speaker 4 4:24

That's it . I must have been asymptomatic .

Speaker 1 4:26

You were just a carrier . That's pretty much it . I was a carrier too , no , but Is it ?

Speaker 2 4:31

Is it anything called Positive , false positive or false negative ?

Speaker 4 4:36

Yeah , both there are false . There's both False positives .

Speaker 2 4:39

Oh , really , I'm talking about and COVID .

Speaker 4 4:42

Yeah , yeah , especially with the rapid test .

Speaker 1 4:43

So my mother did the rapid , did one like every day because she was exposed . It came back negative . So I finally made her take a PCR and it was positive . So those rapids that she was taking and she took different ones , it wasn't like the same ones . So those are giving her false negatives , false negatives .

Speaker 2 5:04

Mm-hmm , wow , wow . Honestly , I don't think this thing going away , which I think ? Oh , of course not .

Speaker 4 5:09

No , I mean it's here to stay . The flu has never gone away . Exactly , the flu is here .

Speaker 3 5:14

Yeah . Well , it's going from a pandemic to an endemic right . They call it an endemic . So now it's just here . It's not even going to be cyclical .

Speaker 1 5:20

It's going to be throughout the summer , it's probably going to be just as common as the cold . Really , it's going to be like another form of the cold .

Speaker 2 5:28

Okay , can I be transparent Sure . No crying , though I like it . I like it . I don't want to say I like the COVID , but it just brought me all happiness . I got more money because of COVID . Everything has been happening good because of COVID , I mean .

Speaker 1 5:43

I guess I have ups and downs .

Speaker 2 5:44

I'm working from home . Oh , I ain't doing that . So I think it's been a blessing . I mean it may be me . How do you guys feel about ? Has it destroyed your life ? Has it changed your life ? I mean it changed everyone's life .

Speaker 4 5:59

I think it's a change to everybody's life , I think I mean everybody's been enclosed for two years . They've had a lot of ebbs and flows .

Speaker 3 6:10

That's a good way of putting it , yeah .

Speaker 2 6:12

So what about ? So I think that it has changed because my daughter had a . She was having her 18th birthday , so that like destroyed her birthday . So I see like a lot of holidays and you know things that we celebrate For young people .

Speaker 5 6:23

I think it's terrible .

Speaker 2 6:25

Yeah , you know , because there's a lot of missing , like graduations .

Speaker 3 6:29

Yes .

Speaker 5 6:29

You know , proms , birthdays . For us it's different because we've had that glorious past that we've experienced . So we don't necessarily have to have a birthday party every year or , you know , have a graduation of some kind . But for the young people who are now just going through things for the first time , I think it's particularly difficult for them .

Speaker 2 6:49

Yeah , yeah , because a lot of problems are canceled , um a lot of I mean people probably don't care , but um , like a lot of uh , college things ncaa has changed um a lot of kids are supposed to be recruited or not being recruited because , um like , for instance , my son , he's actually a junior but because of COVID , as far as NCAA , he's listed as , like a redshirt freshman still .

Speaker 5 7:13

It's messing up the eligibility for a lot of kids that are coming in now , because if you have a star quarterback or a star running back right , who's eligible now for another year of play through NCAA rules for that incoming freshman exactly because a lot of these , a lot of these seniors are not leaving now because they got all these eligibility .

Speaker 2 7:33

So you know , and you know , the NCAA um kind of like I guess cancel , like , uh , the eligibility thing . So it's a lot of people not leaving . So a lot of schools don't have no reason to go out recruit because they , like , we still got our original people . Like we don't really have to recruit , we really don't want to like we recruit you but we're not going to pay you because we got a whole team still here that's not leaving . So it's just . I just I feel it has an impact on like yeah , I think it actually impacted , um , our youth more than it impacted

Gift Giving in Relationships

Speaker 2 7:59

us .

Speaker 2 7:59

Yeah I mean it's , you know , like the holidays is all screwed up , like I still , to this day , I have not seen my family for the holidays . I still got gifts that I , you know , it's actually a good thing because I ain't got to spend no money , but I have not seen my family for the holidays .

Speaker 3 8:16

Why are you ?

Speaker 2 8:17

so cheap , it's not cheap . It's just you know what it is . I have three levels , I got three levels , I got three levels . So what I do when Christmas comes ? Three levels .

Speaker 5 8:25

Are you sure you want to share ?

Speaker 2 8:26

Yeah , I'm going to share .

Speaker 4 8:27

Okay , well , you're putting that out there Now . Everyone will know .

Speaker 2 8:29

I don't care , my family will know . Only I mean my brother's there right there .

Speaker 4 8:32

Wait , and which levels is he on ?

Speaker 2 8:34

He's on level two . Oh shit , I shop for gifts for my household . You know I have to get the gifts for the kids and you know whatever . So the second level is okay , that's my family outside of my household , you know , and my close friends . So I have my , you know , my family outside of my household , my friends , and you know I get all their gifts or whatever . My third level is like whoever else left .

Speaker 4 8:59

Damn , I must be level 10 . What level am I Fuck ?

Speaker 2 9:04

You're not on the level . No , I'm joking .

Speaker 4 9:09

I haven't gotten a gift from Tyson . You have the gift of friendship . I must be level 10 .

Speaker 2 9:15

You are my gift .

Speaker 1 9:16

No , no , you're right , I am your gift .

Speaker 2 9:19

Honestly you guys are . Everybody on this podcast is on level two , which is everybody , People I care about . That's outside of level one . You guys , everybody on this podcast is on level two , which is everybody People I care about . That's outside of level one .

Speaker 5 9:27

So when are we getting our gifts ? That's what I'm saying . When are we getting them ? Are those ?

Speaker 4 9:30

the gifts you didn't purchase yet .

Speaker 2 9:32

Yeah , those are the gifts . Also , let me tell you what level two is . Let me tell you what level two is .

Speaker 5 9:37

So level two is Swag . Lee is not laughing , by the way .

Speaker 2 9:46

Because his gift is actually sitting by my front door , so you knew you were going to see him today .

Speaker 4 9:49

That's correct .

Speaker 1 9:51

He's forgetful though .

Speaker 2 9:52

I am very forgetful .

Speaker 1 9:53

He's forgetful . No , I'm really forgetful .

Speaker 4 9:55

No , he's healed man .

Speaker 5 9:57

Flyboy's about to let off .

Speaker 3 9:59

No , I do .

Speaker 2 10:00

So I don't want to tell the gift , but it's by my front door . So he's a level two . So everybody outside the house gets a level two . And then you got the level three , the people that's just , you know , maybe associates and stuff like that , co-workers , stuff like that . That's level three , but we haven't . You really don't see nobody Like who do you ?

Speaker 3 10:14

see Like you know I mean because of more often I don't mind the gift I'm not , you know , I got you , I got you I got you I'm waiting for mine .

Speaker 2 10:31

What do you ? What do you ?

Speaker 5 10:33

well , since I'm not on the level . I don't know what .

Speaker 2 10:35

I'm gonna get one , no , no honestly , level two is good because that's everybody outside my household you said I wasn't on level . Oh , you're on level two , you're on level you made level two .

Speaker 5 10:43

Level you made it level 2 , you made it level 2 . So that's good , so that's good .

Speaker 3 10:45

So level 2 is good .

Speaker 2 10:46

Because my mom's on level 2 , my brother's on level 2 , like my sisters . My brother , you know they they're on level 2 . So good , you should be happy . So we are family-ish .

Speaker 4 10:54

You family-ish , you outside .

Speaker 2 11:04

So you're the next paycheck , paycheck you're like , if I do , I want to scratch off you that you that person if I sell enough coquito . So so how was your ? How was your holidays ? So christmas , oh my gosh , so boring I had to .

Speaker 4 11:19

I had to cancel my christmas brunch . Why ? Because I was sick .

Speaker 3 11:24

Oh shit , that's a good reason . I don't think anybody would want me coughing over their ?

Speaker 2 11:30

food . Anybody do any special on the holidays ? No , nothing at all .

Speaker 1 11:36

Sat around the table and got COVID from my mother .

Speaker 2 11:39

Christmas dinner the gift that keeps on giving . I was just about to say the gift that keeps on giving .

Speaker 3 11:44

They're going to have to blame me . Two years , two years y'all Two years of COVID man . We done , we are done .

Speaker 2 11:51

If this thing mutated Into something crazy Like Omega , alpha , alpha , omega , something crazy , whatever they want to name it . I don't know If our system Can .

Speaker 5 12:01

That's Jesus Christ . He's the only alpha in America .

Speaker 3 12:03

Well , yeah , beginning and the end , covid ain't got nothing on him .

Speaker 2 12:08

Well , not even , not even just COVID we gotta worry about now . We got the whole Russia , china and what is it North Korea thing Popping off . Yes , so that's gonna be Russia . And , you know , this is just one of those things when we probably need To pay attention Even to the market . Yeah , even this is just one of those things where we probably need to pay attention even to the market .

Speaker 5 12:25

We want to pay attention to the market . Wait time out , so I don't watch the news . What's happening over there ? So ?

Speaker 3 12:32

you know Russia .

Speaker 2 12:33

China .

Speaker 5 12:34

I know where .

Speaker 2 12:34

Russia is Russia China and North . Korea are our natural I want to say our natural enemies .

Speaker 5 12:40

So they're like getting together .

Speaker 2 12:42

They're running naval drills right now as we speak , together .

Speaker 5 12:46

So our natural enemies Are running naval drills together . We're on time clock Is what you're saying .

Speaker 2 12:49

Basically , basically .

Speaker 5 12:53

That's why I don't watch the news , because , like Bad news , depressing , correct I live in my own bubble . So then when something pops off , it just comes .

Speaker 4 13:00

We already had a podcast About this . Who was hooty hooing ? Oh yeah , you're right . Okay , so time out .

Speaker 5 13:08

So who said that they wouldn't be Letting me be on their team ?

Speaker 3 13:12

For the COVID , these two .

Speaker 5 13:16

And .

Speaker 4 13:16

I'm sorry .

Speaker 5 13:17

But I've , knock on wood , have not gotten the COVID and I've survived and done very well . So do you want to like take that back ?

Speaker 4 13:25

No , no , let me tell you what I did today . You don't want to take it back . I'm proud of myself . What you doing , okay , so you know , when you have the light bulb in the inside of the like glass thing the cover , I unscrewed the cover and changed the light bulb by myself , oh Jesus , by myself .

Speaker 2 13:41

What the hell I get to do with COVID . That's an applause All .

Speaker 4 13:44

I'm saying is that I have survival skills .

Speaker 5 13:46

Oh shit and .

Speaker 4 13:48

I know who you can call .

Speaker 5 13:49

To do that next time that's working smarter , not harder . Who ? Who can I call ? Who can ?

Speaker 4 13:56

I call . Who can you call ?

Speaker 5 13:57

General contractor .

Speaker 4 13:58

In the area , find you the information . I am not paying A contractor for this Angie's less Angie .

Speaker 1 14:04

Oh , I find you the information . I am not paying a contractor for this Angie's less oh fuck Angela .

Speaker 3 14:07

This is why neither one of you guys would make it in an apocalypse , and that's why we didn't choose that's not true .

Speaker 4 14:13

I can use a screwdriver . I have survival skills .

Speaker 5 14:16

Listen , I can also cook you a meal , so you can survive .

Speaker 4 14:20

I made a charcuterie board of things .

Speaker 3 14:27

Very fancy , I totally give up .

Speaker 5 14:30

You want us on your team ? Stop playing .

Speaker 4 14:33

We're not bad assets .

Speaker 5 14:35

We got assets . They're great .

Speaker 2 14:38

All right , so it's time for that topic . Listen to this . It's a good topic . So what I'm asking is if you're in a relationship or an ex relationship , do you think it is appropriate to buy that person a gift ? So , for instance , let's say you have , so you are a male and you just broke up with your baby mama and you're in a whole new relationship . Do you think it's appropriate for him to buy a gift ? That's the topic .

Speaker 1 15:10

If you're , if you ended on good terms , I mean sure , sure , why not ? If there's kids involved , like if they're still taking care of your child , like why , why the fuck not ?

Speaker 5 15:20

Well , it's , it's a representation .

Speaker 4 15:30

Like so , so you could say it's from the child , wait , okay .

Speaker 2 15:31

So let's just say you do get one for the child and you get one for yourself . Fuck that . Why explain ?

Speaker 4 15:33

explain . My answer is this if it's from the child , yes , and there's a price limit on that why , it's fine like because I feel that we know your view .

Speaker 5 15:43

I feel that gifts . We know your view why .

Speaker 2 15:45

Explain .

Speaker 4 15:46

I feel that gifts are thoughtful At least how I gift give is thoughtful and so I feel that you definitely take that person into consideration and their likes , their dislikes , what they're into . I feel like a price limit from the child based on age is appropriate , especially if that person is in a new relationship . If they're single , then do you ?

Speaker 2 16:14

Okay , let's break this down a little bit . I'm your current man . You're my current man .

Speaker 4 16:19

I'm your current man you have ?

Speaker 2 16:20

No , I have . I have a baby man you have . No , I have . I have a baby mama . So I have a child with another woman . I have respect for her . You know I used to love her . I mean , I still love her . She's the mother of my child . We don't have nothing , clearly nothing going on . You know , I just want to , you know , just show appreciation , that listen . You know you do a lot . You take care of my daughter and I'm appreciative of that . So I'm going to help my daughter get you something and I'm also going to get you something , nothing like you know , not lingerie or nothing , but just something like basic , like maybe a purse or something or a keychain .

Speaker 4 16:54

Based on age . I feel like it's appropriate based on age , and you're doing it in the name of the child .

Speaker 2 17:00

No no .

Speaker 5 17:07

Two separate child . No , no , I have two separate gifts . Take the no , fuck that . Why though I don't ? I disagree , I don't think there's a problem with that .

Speaker 2 17:11

I don't think there's a problem , so we're gonna so hold you . I want to go back to the nest , though . So what is the problem ? Because , especially if I ask you to help me pick it , I'll pick out a nice year for my baby mother . Let me , you know it's christmas as your woman , yes y'all can both go to hell as a woman . Sometimes you buying the gift by yourself to send Like but if you get your coworkers gifts , why can't you get ? Let your your , your , your new boo , get his ex girlfriend something .

Speaker 4 17:37

I got my , I got my current man's ex A gift , so what's the problem with him ?

Speaker 2 17:46

giving .

Speaker 4 17:46

From the child . I took the child shopping and I said get something for your mother . It was a card and chocolate kisses . That's all you're getting from me , bitch so .

Speaker 2 17:56

But so I thought I was pretty so you would get mad . You would get mad if your boo got her something .

Speaker 4 18:07

A card and chocolate kisses . I wouldn't get mad at that's what I'm saying . It's the amount of money that you put into it . It's the amount of effort you're putting into this gift .

Speaker 2 18:17

What if he just like somewhere ? Let's just say he has money and he's just somewhere . He's like I'm just going to get into this purse because I know she likes Coach . It's the amount of effort . Maybe if he has money , then coach might not be shit . Then right , okay , so okay .

Speaker 4 18:33

But if you got her , a louis bag or a chanel bag .

Speaker 2 18:35

That might be something else so it has nothing to do with the gift , it has to do with the effort he put behind it . Yeah , okay . So I mean , I mean , so you , you , you kind of agree With this , but you're just Saying it has a limit , right , okay , that's not bad .

Speaker 3 18:47

So good , that sounds shallow , that sounds very shallow , that's not shallow it , do , it do .

Speaker 4 18:51

But you know Well , fuck it , I'm shallow .

Speaker 2 18:53

Then , this is no judgment zone , so I'm not going to go . So what , demetra ? What are you saying ?

Speaker 5 18:59

I think If you're talking about children Right , if you're talking about children , right , children are involved . So , as I'm just going to speak on my own experiences as a mother , your children are watching what you do and the way you act and the way you respond to things , right ? So I'm trying to be mature and show my children the best way to handle a situation . Would I want to buy a gift for that ex-person ? Not necessarily because , right , you know you have pettiness about you sometimes . It's not what you want to do , but it's a sign of respect and it's a sign of that you're trying to maintain a good relationship for the sake of your children .

Speaker 1 19:42

Right

Ex Relationship Boundaries and Gift Giving

Speaker 1 19:43

.

Speaker 5 19:43

So I would suggest to have a conversation with your current significant other and say listen , what are the limits Like ? Is there a dollar amount that we are spending Right , cause we're doing our Christmas budget right ? How much do you want to spend ? And if they're like yo $2,000 , you're like nah , hold up .

Speaker 1 20:02

We gotta have to take care of first . But you know what ?

Speaker 5 20:05

I mean . But the point is , it's open communication , it's conversation that you are going to have , but have but surface . Yes , you don't really want to do it just because it's the ex and that whole thing , but it's something . I think that's important to do and at the end of the day it doesn't mean anything . You're extending the olive leaf or olive branch , right , so that way nobody can look at you and be like , oh , she doesn't like me or she went out of her way to be mean to me or you know whatever , like you're doing the right thing .

Speaker 2 20:38

I see , to me that makes sense , that makes total sense to me .

Speaker 5 20:43

I've been in this situation plenty of times , like my husband . No , my husband has a daughter . You know we are step my stepdaughter , who is older , and for years I've been purchasing gifts and like it's at the point now where I just buy the gifts and send it to her because you know , do you put your name when you put the daughter's name ? No , we put all of our names .

Speaker 5 21:02

Like we buy separate gifts , usually from . Well , she's an adult now so it's different because she could buy her own gifts . But we put from from my husband , I and the kids like her , the siblings , so you know it's a gift from all of us . She sends stuff to our house too , like you know . It's a sign of respect . But , um , you know , my daughter's father is in a relationship with you know , somebody new usually every year and we send gifts to him . I mean , you know , it's just I . I just don't want my kids to grow up and say you were the petty one .

Speaker 5 21:34

You know what I mean .

Speaker 4 21:35

They need to learn a little petty , I'm sorry .

Speaker 5 21:37

I mean they'll learn it , but just not . We're trying to be copacetic for the situation .

Speaker 2 21:41

I just you know what I think . My thing is . I believe in giving off energy . So if I'm giving off a negative energy , then that means I'm giving you more power than you probably have . So to me you'd be like okay , my ex is not getting nothing , I just gave you power . Now I'm having some type of feeling about you and a mood and you're changing that . If I really truly believe that you're my ex and I don't want anything to do with you , I can give you a gift , and I just give you a gift because it's Christmas . You see what I'm saying .

Speaker 5 22:10

If there's kids involved . If there's kids involved , if you're just giving it to an ex , no , I don't know . If there's no kids involved , then I won't do it .

Speaker 4 22:19

Some people do that Because a gift could be a box of chocolates .

Speaker 5 22:24

No Right and a card .

Speaker 2 22:28

But even something more expensive than a chocolate , even like anything , I think , card , even a card , but even something more of a , more expensive than the chocolate , even like anything , anything like if you set a budget , like if you compromise and you speak about it and it's a conversation .

Speaker 5 22:39

Look , listen , we're not spending no , two thousand dollars on a louis bag . That's out right , because we got other stuff we have to do in our house first , right ? Whatever , according to the person's budget , that you can fit in , that's reasonable , that you guys agree on . That's what you spend Up to , or whatever .

Speaker 2 22:55

Let's just say this particular person , let's just say you and your husband , you're trying to decide what you're going to get his ex for Christmas . And let's say your husband be like oh , you know what , I'm going to get her a washing machine , because she needs a washing machine . Would that be like a no-brainer ?

Speaker 5 23:11

or that be one of these like if she needed a washing machine , we would probably buy it only because she's family and she needs a washing machine to wash the kids clothes you're not even like if she need .

Speaker 1 23:21

You know what I'm saying .

Speaker 5 23:22

Like just listen , just because I mean it's different , I guess if you don't have the money to buy a washing machine , that's a different situation . But if you're the mother to my stepdaughter , your family . So if you need something , we're gonna try to help you to get it right , like if that's you know a situation . If we can , it's in our means . You know what I mean , but I mean so if she's like I need a washing machine , okay , she obviously needs a washing machine , she needs help . We're gonna have to try to see if we can help her get a washing machine .

Speaker 4 23:54

Give card to the laundromat Right .

Speaker 2 23:55

A roll of quarters oh you are petty as hell Super petty Listen , I guess .

Speaker 3 24:02

I've had some different life experiences , so I'm just going to let fly boy go next .

Speaker 4 24:12

I'm just saying , like if the child like you said your stepdaughter's grown like , there's no reason to be like . She can wash her own clothes .

Speaker 1 24:14

Right , I'm not going to get you in a washing machine because your daughter grown , probably living out of the house . You ain't really taking care of her anymore , so you're good .

Speaker 5 24:22

But it's like about if you have family , regardless of whoever it is , and they ask you for help or they need help . It's not about what relationship they are to you , it's the fact can you help them ? That's where I'm coming from . I see what your point is .

Speaker 2 24:39

So you consider your ex's Well , your husband's ex Part of the family Only because they had a kid together , right , I mean it makes sense .

Speaker 5 24:48

Just like my daughter's father is family . If he came to me and he was like I need something , you know if I could help him , I would like you know you took your husband a cosign on that he has like if you know , if you know my daughter's , like you know , he's like I need help with a plane ticket with my daughter flying out . Like , of course , we purchased a plane ticket , of course .

Speaker 2 25:09

Like that's a little different . Though You're kind of helping your daughter , let's just say he needs something . It has nothing to do with your daughter , but he needs something .

Speaker 5 25:19

If he was like I need something , I would consider it yes , because he's family .

Speaker 3 25:24

I think there's a sore spot that people don't like to admit If the person , if your current person , had someone else in the past and they're still in contact , whether it's because of a child or not , that's always like a spot in the back of your mind that says you know , like you know they were before me and it kind of lives there . Now how you handle it is pretty good . I think you're probably unique than most people .

Speaker 5 25:54

But it has always been a challenge for people to look at that X and be okay . It takes work , Don't get me wrong . It took a while for me to get here . It's not easy . You know what I mean . But it's at the end of the day you have to see , like , just like you were saying , it's the negative energy that you give somebody to live rent free in your , in your mind . You know what I mean . Like , if you let that go like it's now nothing , no , I definitely agree .

Speaker 2 26:15

Just a lot of times when I think , like you know , of course we all get in these conversations , these debates which are significant about , you know , exes and stuff like that , and sometimes I feel like if you give so much thought of your ex , it's giving them energy that they really don't , I want to say , deserve , but it's not worth it . So to me , if you're saying , listen , I don't want you to give her no gift , you just made it feel , made me feel , like you think it's more than what it is . I'm giving a gift , just like I give my coworkers , I give my friends , I give people on a day to day basis , but for you to tell me that I have to change what I do , meaning that I can't give her a gift , you're giving her more energy than I'm really thinking about her . You know what I'm saying .

Speaker 2 26:55

For me to be actively thinking , no , I can't give her a gift . You just gave her to me . You just gave her energy that she doesn't really have . You see what I'm saying . I treat her just like anybody else . If I give my friends gifts , I'm going to give her a gift , like you know , because you know , because she's in my life I'm gonna give her a gift , but once you be like , well , don't give her a gift , you can't give her one now . You . Now you got me thinking like damn she's , you're giving her more energy than she deserves but you know what it depends on ?

Speaker 3 27:18

it depends on how you describe the ex to your mate , right , because that's true if you described it as is tumultuous and they broke my heart and they did this , they did that and you put all that negative energy out of our gift , then that person you know the current person is always going to be thinking well , why would you do anything for that person ?

Speaker 3 27:35

right ? Because a lot of times we do that , right , we take out our frustrations , we tell our current partner how horrible the other person was . It's like sometimes we tell our kids which we should never , ever do that right , but when you ? Do that you're . You got to realize you're putting that into your current partner's mind , and so that's going to create the the problem . So we got to think about that too .

Speaker 2 27:53

You're absolutely right , because a lot of times when we break up , what's the first thing

Recognizing Red Flags in Relationships

Speaker 2 27:57

we doing ? When we , you know , we courting the person , new person , we telling , like all the bad things that absolutely that the person that you were with did oh , she didn't do this , she didn't cook , we didn't , she didn't have sex with me .

Speaker 4 28:08

That's because you want that new person to do all that right , never believe what somebody tells you all those things , do not believe the listeners audience do not believe that , but we all do .

Speaker 3 28:20

They were crazy , we don't tell them that we don't tell the bad things about ourselves , right ? We tell the bad things about the other person , right ?

Speaker 2 28:26

so so it's so , we do , we build it , we build this . This evil person . I'm like okay , she didn't do , she didn't do this , she didn't do that , she wasn't doing this , she smelled like that .

Speaker 5 28:39

Not that she smelled like that Right .

Speaker 2 28:42

But these are the things we do , because you don't never get in a new relationship and you be like yeah , I broke up with this girl , she was wonderful .

Speaker 3 28:48

She was this Never , ever , ever in the history of in history .

Speaker 1 28:50

She did this to me she was my life .

Speaker 2 28:52

I thought .

Speaker 1 28:52

I was going to marry her Because a new person is going to walk back and say well , what the fuck are you doing with me Exactly ? What the fuck are you doing with me Exactly ? It's bullshit . So you list all the negative and you keep it moving .

Speaker 3 29:09

So you yeah , for sure that sets the stage , I know , and that's totally great , like that we're all talking about it and we're saying it out loud Like damn Like .

Speaker 4 29:15

Yeah Right , it's your perspective .

Speaker 1 29:17

That you're giving .

Speaker 4 29:18

Oh , this is true too , and it all has to do with Also , like your maturity level . Can you , can you recognize when , the , where you fucked up ? Or can you recognize , or do you see , or do you see ? Do you put all the fault in your partner , and then you know what's on ?

Speaker 2 29:32

a new relationship . Have you ever ? Have you ever ? First of all , I guess I should ask this question have you ever broke up with a person and it was your fault , or y'all broke up because it was your fault ? Has that anybody ? Ever felt that Definitely .

Speaker 3 29:43

And so your next relationship , so so your new relationship did you , did you admit that ?

Speaker 4 29:51

So how have I been Sleeping ?

Speaker 3 29:53

around . But I would never tell my new person that it was my fault ?

Speaker 4 29:58

Of course not . You wouldn't like . Oh , I was putting my shit everywhere .

Speaker 5 30:02

I would never tell a new person . I was a scallywag . That's why we broke up . I had about six different girlfriends on the side , so that's why I'm getting that .

Speaker 2 30:10

So nobody ever admitted that . Listen , we broke up because it was my fault . I like how this is going , so I'm assuming . Nobody ever admitted like listen my last relationship . I was fucked up , I cheated , I did this and this has happened .

Speaker 1 30:25

I'm an angel Right .

Speaker 2 30:27

You're full of shit . But a lot of times , even if you were the one that cheated and broke up , we say something like this Well , we broke up because they wasn't giving me this and it made me do that . You don't never be like I fucked up .

Speaker 4 30:39

But again , what's the source of it ? It's because you want these things from your new partner , so you're able to identify who you didn't get from your last partner and you want these things in this new person . So you're telling them , so they're making a conscious effort to say , okay , well , this person needs these things . This is why they ended . This is why the last relationship ended .

Speaker 3 31:00

So they need these strategic , very strategic , it's very strategic .

Speaker 5 31:02

Well , I feel like some people say things like that and when they come with , oh I didn't get this from so and so and I didn't get that , it's like you're setting yourself up because they're going to find something that they don't get from you , right , you know what I'm saying ? Like it's a never-ending cycle because that person is not dealing with their own like issues .

Speaker 4 31:21

Because they're fucking crazy , correct .

Speaker 5 31:23

You know , what I mean .

Speaker 2 31:24

So keep that thought , so explain what you mean . So you're saying , if I complain to my new person about so what's that old saying that my grandma used to say ?

Speaker 5 31:32

you lose them , how you get them ? Yeah , so if somebody comes to you and they're like , oh , x , y and Z never gave me , blah , blah , blah , or I'm doing this because I didn't get this , my person , my ex , didn't cook , my ex didn't like to have sex , or whatever there is going to be If that person doesn't address their own insecure issues . Yes , it's a repetitive cycle . It's going to be the same thing with you . It's they're going to have something they didn't get from you yeah , true you know what I mean like , and then the next person after you ?

Speaker 5 32:06

right , because you lose them . How you get them that person after you ? They're going to find something If they don't address their issue . It's going to be the same thing . It's an insecurity .

Speaker 3 32:17

That's very true . I agree with that . But I will say that there have been times when I would say , when I was younger , I was immature , I didn't make the right decisions , I wasn't settled , I wasn't committed . I have said that going into new relationships . So that's being as transparent as I possibly could be , without giving all the details right .

Speaker 3 32:35

So I think that's fair like I think you should if anyone comes to you , if you get a new person now and all they can tell you is about the negative things from their prior partner and nothing negative about themselves that's a red flag , it's absolutely 100 and nothing is going to change .

Speaker 2 32:49

You're just the next person in their cycle and it's going to keep going and going and going , absolutely , oh , and you know what I mean . That's something to think about . Actually , that'd be a good topic later on .

Speaker 4 32:59

Is reading red flags .

Speaker 2 33:02

It's a lot of red flags . That is such a good topic . So you're saying so so carnival , ladies .

Speaker 1 33:11

But , believe it or not ?

Speaker 2 33:14

a lot of males and females get caught up in the storyline of their current person's past . They get up and they're like , oh you know what ? I love this person because nobody ever gave them the chance .

Speaker 5 33:25

No , who does that ? An immature person .

Speaker 2 33:27

Right , Right , Right . Do you think it would be a good thing if we say listen , you know I'm courting you . I want to be with you . Is it possible for me to speak to your ex ? Would that be a thing ? Would you think that should be a thing ?

Speaker 4 33:44

I like that . I like that they would be honest and not bite .

Speaker 5 33:52

Like , if they're not angry , little elves , the ex is gonna tell you what they feel . The negative was in the . You're not dating that ex , you're dating the person . But you have , those are red flags .

Speaker 4 33:59

It doesn't mean it's a deal breaker , right here's the other thing if somebody is at the point where they are fully aware of their own shit , they should be able to tell you that . They should be able to say this is what it looks like when I'm angry . This is what it looks like when I'm feeling insecure . This is what , if ? This is what it looks like when I need you . This is what it looks like when I'm mad at you . That's how you know that you're dating the right person .

Speaker 5 34:23

Or the ability to right or the ability to apologize and say listen , I apologize for that and this is why I reacted that way . Going forward , this is my trigger .

Speaker 2 34:37

Can we move forward , so think about it when we get a new job . The actual references Bitch bye . We ain't calling nobody exes . You were my three .

Speaker 3 34:48

You were my three , y'all can call my exes because they still on exes . Okay , so far . So far , you were my three , you were my three , you were my three . Listen , y'all can call my exes because they still on the tail , okay . We try to call them out , so you can call all them and they'll be like yo that's the best bitch I ever had .

Speaker 2 35:06

So we got . So . When you get a new job , when you get a new job , you got references . When you get trying to buy a house or you're listening , to a realtor they list their references . When you're starting a new business , you're like , okay , listen , I do this and here's my references . Why ?

Speaker 4 35:17

not , so you're willing to list your last three references Correct .

Speaker 2 35:21

I know , but what I'm saying is Are you willing to do that ? Are you trying to ?

Speaker 5 35:28

look for red flags ladies . It is time to carnival willing to do that if you're trying to look for red flags ladies .

Speaker 2 35:33

Okay , what I'm trying to say is but I mean , but is is it ? Is it far-fetched to ask someone listen , listen , I'm not , I'm , I'm 50 years old , I don't have time to play no games . I think it's immature as fuck . You think so .

Speaker 4 35:44

The actual references like I think , if you're 50 and you can't recognize red flags you have a problem . I think grown people should have grown conversations .

Speaker 5 35:53

I think maybe like sex .

Speaker 2 35:56

What's the difference between references and sex references ?

Speaker 5 36:01

There's a difference .

Speaker 3 36:04

Oh my god , that must be We'll ask her , I'll say what would your ex say about you ?

Speaker 5 36:10

I like that , that's kind of corny , it's how you phrase it .

Speaker 2 36:11

I'll say what would your ex say about you ? I like that . I know that's kind of corny . I like that . No , I like it , though it's how you phrase it . No , I like that . I do like that .

Speaker 3 36:15

Right , because now you know any bullshit , right ? Oh , he's going to say I was the sweetest thing ever .

Speaker 5 36:20

Blah , blah , blah . You are crazy bitch A . I left , right , I'm the victim .

Speaker 2 36:34

I left because of x , y and z nah bitch , like you got red flags up and down . You know what's funny . Okay , I you know . I could say this because it's two different people and they told me this situation , but I don't think they listened to our podcast , so we ain't gotta worry about it , so I could say it . So one one of the this female told me that when she started dating her , he now they're married . They're married . Now Her ex , I mean her Current husband , told her he's like , she's like . Well , why did you break up With your ex ? He said , I'm gonna be honest with you . She was complaining that my penis was too small . She married him , so , so .

Speaker 5 37:04

I think that Wait time out who married who ?

Speaker 2 37:07

She married him , like I mean they got married . They got married Lil Dick . She married him . I mean they got married Little dick .

Speaker 4 37:11

They got married . Little dick , yeah , little dick . You know I was having this conversation last night , it isn't .

Speaker 1 37:14

Okay , okay , say what you got to say Ocean in the ocean . I know , I know what you're about to say .

Speaker 4 37:18

Tell us what's on your mind , because I don't want no one in my life . Help me understand this , don't . Last night at dinner with a group of my friends , and we were talking about this earlier . I don't know if you what were you talking about there ?

Speaker 4 37:33

are different . Have you seen Love , Sex and Goop on Netflix ?

Exploring Different Sexual Preferences

Speaker 4 37:39

So there are different ways , there are different sexual ways , Like I don't know if Just come and say what you're going to say what I want to say . Right , that's not what I want to say . What I want to say is that there are different . Different things get different people off . There's like a sensual a sexual , a kinky ? There are like different categories of sexuality that get people off you know what I mean , and so somebody .

Speaker 5 38:08

But you need a good pounding every once in a while I'm going to stop you right there , that's it , that's it , she said it , she wants it .

Speaker 3 38:16

So listen .

Speaker 2 38:19

So I want you to tell your story , but I think this is going to turn into another podcast topic . But I want you to tell it , because when we do it , I want it to transition .

Speaker 5 38:31

So the network , or whoever listened , whoever wrote that show has a little dick , so finish what you're saying this is going to be our next topic .

Speaker 4 38:35

There's like a sex therapist on the show , but it's an interesting show . But anyway I can tell you that Just my personal story . I can identify as a sensual person , which is somebody that my senses , as long as they are stimulated and intrigued .

Speaker 5 38:51

I don't need penetration , which is a sense that stimulates your vagina , because that's me .

Speaker 4 38:56

But you're probably a sexual person . Shout out to the sexual .

Speaker 1 39:00

Wait , wait , wait .

Speaker 2 39:03

So , Ness , can you explain ?

Speaker 4 39:04

to her because we can understand . So a sensual right , personal , a sensual person ? Doesn't you use your five senses ? So as long as your senses are stimulated , for instance , I don't necessarily need penetration . I can get off on other things . I've gotten off from having my shoulder licked . How's that ?

Speaker 1 39:27

Wow , that's powerful . I'm going for you A whole waterfall .

Speaker 3 39:30

It worked pretty well .

Speaker 4 39:33

So that's what I'm saying , just like there are different senses . For me , it's the experience you should .

Speaker 5 39:42

Somebody want to lick my elbow . It won't work .

Speaker 4 39:46

It's nice , but for different people . And again I've been able to get off , not penetration from other things .

Speaker 1 39:54

But I bet it depends on the person . Now , of course , right , because you can have a high level of attraction to someone and they can totally get you off versus someone else .

Speaker 4 40:07

I definitely feel it's attraction . I feel it's attraction and it's chemistry . Oh , of course , yeah .

Speaker 3 40:14

Chemistry is so important . Chemistry is important . I agree with chemistry as a new person I'm dating .

Speaker 1 40:18

I get super hot like that . No one's ever got me hot before and I can just listen to you talk your language and I'm ready she said your language .

Speaker 3 40:29

You're just like oh Ready , I feel like I'm in a matrix right now . They call that butter , that's called butter .

Speaker 5 40:35

I feel like if somebody's rubbing my shoulders I'm falling asleep . Oh .

Speaker 4 40:40

Facts Right , it was just , it was where it was . You know , I'd be like ow , it was like hey , you know what ?

Speaker 2 40:46

I could agree Because it was in the past . I have a particular female that would go down on me and she would have an orgasm , several orgasms , just with doing that . So I mean , I'm sure that's the same thing .

Speaker 4 40:58

Yeah , yeah , exactly that's the experience .

Speaker 3 41:00

Shout out to the sexual girl Right .

Speaker 1 41:05

You know , I want to say she might have not been that way with anyone else . It's probably that level of attraction that she had to him in the whole experience Correct , which did that . You know what I'm saying .

Speaker 4 41:16

So the levels are like according to this show , the sex therapist on the show , which is very interesting Because I mean they do some weird shit Like you're laying on the table and you're like using energy . So your heat is like generating energy in that area . So they're sensual , they is like generating energy in that area .

Speaker 5 41:34

So they're sensual . They're sexual . There's kinky . What's in the kinky ? What do they do ?

Speaker 4 41:36

Like butt plugs Weird shit , butt plugs , they have these claws . They have these like Wolverine claws that you scrape their skin .

Speaker 2 41:46

Oh , Jesus Christ .

Speaker 5 41:47

No , somebody was telling me that's just like the whole feet thing .

Speaker 1 41:50

People don't like feet , like it's borderline fetish . Right , also , it could be it's fetish . Yeah , you know .

Speaker 5 41:56

Fetish is to get people off .

Speaker 2 41:58

I'm definitely thinking this is going to be the next topic .

Speaker 5 42:00

Kinky shit , kinky shit . You know what she's talking about sensual .

Speaker 2 42:12

You got kinky shit . I don't like kinky shit , we're just gonna definitely go .

Speaker 3 42:14

I see we're gonna like go off with some other shit . I feel like such a nerd . Oh my god , I'm like you a whole . Do we need to educate you ? You're a whole lie over there . You're not a whole nerd .

Speaker 4 42:21

Middle zone bet you a whole lie over there so you're just , we saw the zoo .

Speaker 3 42:24

You must just be sexual he's a straight sex , right , I'm straight sex .

Speaker 2 42:29

I mean I , I sorry Does that make a difference though let's just say you explain to your current person .

Speaker 5 42:34

I feel like terrible because I don't have all those . I don't want you to rub my shoulders .

Speaker 4 42:39

I like to be touched and rubbed . I like your closeness .

Speaker 1 42:44

That means , like I said , it's probably the person I'm sure .

Speaker 2 42:49

So let's just say you got that new person right , you , the person . So I'm sure . So let's just say you , you got that new person right , you with the new person , and you talked and let's just say y'all , let's just say y'all was friends prior to you actually getting into a relationship and you told him about your sex capades with your , your ex , with that . Does that make a difference to how the gift giving , like if I'd be , like okay , what ? So let's just say you and I , you and I , are just friends right . And I'm just telling you you know , I'm confiding you're like , you know , my ex , we , we , we have beautiful sex . We was like mountains roared things happen when we had sex

Navigating Gift Giving in Relationships

Speaker 2 43:16

.

Speaker 4 43:16

Better not buy her shit exactly so .

Speaker 2 43:19

It all depends on what type of relationship you have .

Speaker 4 43:21

No it really doesn't my bottom line is if you're buying it in the name of the child , based on their age , whatever your shit is over at the end of the day .

Speaker 5 43:31

You're no longer in the name of the child based on their age . Whatever , your shit is over at the end of the day . You're no longer in a relationship with them .

Speaker 2 43:34

But you're not in a relationship with your coworkers , your friends , and you still buy them gifts .

Speaker 5 43:38

That's what I'm trying to say but you got a kid , you're still in a relationship with them , right ?

Speaker 3 43:41

So y'all agree , you just don't agree . I don't agree .

Speaker 5 43:52

Right , agree , you agree , that's okay , and I'm trying to . I'm just trying to see your rationale too , but there's limits .

Speaker 2 43:54

So you agree . So you , you agree to limits .

Speaker 5 43:55

Yeah , you agree to limits , okay , I mean , I mean it makes sense we're saying by the washer , she's saying by the chocolates to buy the bitch not in a royal quarter .

Speaker 4 44:06

She says she can't use the two flavors can mix together , but don't you feel like ?

Speaker 2 44:10

to me ? Yeah , just this is me . And when don't you feel like to me , just as me ? Don't you feel like as a guy , I would feel like you're giving her too much energy , like you putting too much so for you to tell me like you can't get her gifts . You're making me feel like I want her more than like she really is .

Speaker 5 44:27

For me it's , but please explain because I'm trying to . It sounds like that's an insecure answer .

Speaker 3 44:31

Yeah , it does .

Speaker 2 44:33

It does .

Speaker 4 44:33

Maybe , it does , but I'm trying to understand . There is a child involved , however , and you provide for your child , right ?

Speaker 2 44:41

Right .

Speaker 4 44:42

The gift . Yes , right , that's the gift . You provide a gift for your child . Yes , again , according to age . I'm not putting , I'm not telling you it has to be they're six years old . It has to be a $25 limit . I'm not saying that According to the child . The child tells you listen , I want to buy my mom this . Okay , let's go , let's go shopping for your mom . I'm not telling you you can't get her anything . I don't feel , as your new woman , that you need to get her a gift on your own . But why , though ?

Speaker 5 45:11

Why .

Speaker 2 45:14

Why is that disrespectful ? So , why is it disrespectful ?

Speaker 4 45:20

Because , again , for me , gifts are thoughtful , gifts are purposeful . At least that's how I shop for it .

Speaker 1 45:26

So she don't want that bitch thought of is what she's saying , but she has to be thought of because that's the mother of his kid .

Speaker 2 45:34

Right , regardless , you can't take that away . There's nothing you could do possibly to take that away . Right , there's nothing .

Speaker 5 45:39

You don't feel like that . That would be something that would help a relationship .

Speaker 4 45:44

No , okay .

Speaker 2 45:46

Right , so look at it this way .

Speaker 3 45:50

I've okay , right , so let's look at it this way I've never got a gift that has helped my relationship I don't know this is a good example .

Speaker 2 45:56

But like p diddy , like , oh you know , he has like a lot of baby mothers , they all like go out together .

Speaker 5 46:01

He gets some gifts like that's ideal , right , but he's .

Speaker 2 46:04

But they all explain it's not like they , they , they're a family , they as I . I'm okay with that , right , so why so you ? But you're contradicting yourself . You're saying that . You're saying that , yeah , I'm okay with the family , but you ain't getting shit listen I feel like you know , you're not getting shit from you .

Speaker 4 46:22

You know , receiving right , you guys know , receiving gifts is a love language . That is actually a love language .

Speaker 5 46:29

There are five love languages but you may love that person because that's the mother of your kid okay , no , no , let's focus the energy back .

Speaker 3 46:38

The energy should be on the child , right so you're channeling what , what ? So the child is not able to buy the parent a gift no , your job .

Speaker 5 46:46

She's talking about separate gifts . I'm talking about separate .

Speaker 4 46:49

But that's what I'm saying . This relationship is related to the child . If the child wants to get their parent a gift . Okay , no problem , let's go shopping .

Speaker 5 46:59

I'm okay with that , but a separate gift , but there's a certain level of respect that you give to someone when you're in a room with them for 24 hours and you see them pushing your kid out of their vagina . That's a certain level of respect that's never going to go away .

Speaker 3 47:15

But what I would say if you're in another relationship , completely , I would say that you channel the gift that you would give personally and the child . You just put that into one bigger gift .

Speaker 5 47:26

But she's also saying it's according to the age , right Like .

Speaker 3 47:29

she's saying like If the child is six's , saying If it's six , if the child is six , right .

Speaker 5 47:31

So that's not gonna equate To like two gifts from someone . So yeah , like I just don't see the issue .

Speaker 2 47:40

Well , you know what , how I look at it is Okay , I respect , I respect , okay , I'm with my new , my new person . I respect my baby mother Because she knows I'm with my new person . I respect my baby mother because she takes care of my daughter while I'm not around , the old me would agree with you . But think about it .

Speaker 5 47:53

It took a long way .

Speaker 2 47:55

But think about it . She takes care of my daughter . She's the perfect mom . She doesn't give me no hassle . Sometimes I'm late with the child support and she's like , oh , don't worry about it , get the next pay . But now I'm just thinking about all the things that , like , we give them a gift . You like , like show them respect , like , listen , like a thank you . Right , you are part of , you're a part of my life , whether it's your ex or whatever . You're a part of my life and thank you for being who you are . That's , that's how I see a gift .

Speaker 4 48:23

So my question is this I don't think with . Do you continue to buy them gifts ?

Speaker 3 48:27

no , that's different though , but that's what I'm saying why can't it all be channeled through the child , like why do you have to do something in agreement with that and you ? Can still raise the limits of what you're buying if you can raise the limits , then yes , like if it's .

Speaker 5 48:40

If she because she was saying it's age specific , like so for the six-year-old going to the store and buying a card with chocolates that they pick out , like a six-year-old's not going to be like , oh , there's a louis bag , my mom would like that , right . So she's saying like the six-year-old would buy chocolates . That's not necessary .

Speaker 3 48:55

I think you could take a six-year-old to a store like that . Now , if there's six and you can say what kind of you know dress would mommy like ? What kind of sweater would mommy like ? What kind of like ? I think you could actually do that and I think there's a way to kind of kill two birds with one stone I agree with that too .

Speaker 5 49:10

It's , it's , whatever you figure out , what I just think , but I just still . In addition , if that next level , if you wanted to give something as a sign of respect , that , what is the problem with that ?

Speaker 4 49:22

I find that the your only tie and connection to this person is your child right , I agree , I agree with that .

Speaker 2 49:29

But how do you show that ? Through your child ? But I agree , you channel that , I agree with that . But how do you show that ?

Speaker 2 49:31

through your child but how do you show a person that you respect them as whoever they are ? And you don't do that through tonight , like like this . So okay ,

Navigating Co-Parenting Relationships

Speaker 2 49:40

this is a good . Here's a prime example . You , you and I have a kid together . How about I tell my , go tell mommy that daddy loves her . Right , think about it , it's the same shit . So , junior , go tell mommy that I love mommy . Would you be like , why didn't you say that ? So for me to get a gift for my ex .

Speaker 3 50:02

Well , shit , you know what ? Here's what I hear from all of this . You just lost me on that one . You lost me on this one too .

Speaker 4 50:08

Listen , you want to have a baby Because you're going to give me gifts anyway , so I'll take that .

Speaker 3 50:12

See , you can't . What you're trying to do is kind of maintain A relationship . You're trying to maintain a relationship , but not maintain a relationship . You have a child , and I think that should now be like . Really it should be your vehicle , for you know any inroads back to the other person . That should be the vehicle . If you do it separately , then everything we're talking about applies . It could be like someone else could misinterpret that . So if you go out and buy them a really extravagant gift and the child is buying an age-appropriate gift .

Speaker 5 50:43

It looks like you're putting a lot more energy and thought into that . It shouldn't be extravagant . If you can't afford and you go out of your way to make it something that it's that you can't , that wouldn't be within your means . I could see what you're saying as far as , like , you're going out of your way to , like , get this gift right . But if it's like you're saying okay to your current significant other , all right , are we going to spend what's our limit ? A hundred dollars , okay , so we're gonna go out and buy something for a hundred dollars , like I don't think that would be a problem I'm okay with that as well .

Speaker 4 51:16

You're discussing that with your current partner that you know what I mean .

Speaker 5 51:19

I think that's what we said , right like that right so one of us is something to like .

Speaker 2 51:22

I'm like , listen , I want to get . I want to get baby mama something . I really don't care . Can you pick it out for her ? Would that make it different If I clued you into ?

Speaker 4 51:29

it . That would be okay . I don't , that's what I do . I think that would be okay , you're including that , you're including your current partner Into it . Yeah , I think that that's fine , okay , so .

Speaker 2 51:38

The problem is not the gift , it's just how Is it presented to the person ? Okay , so .

Speaker 4 51:44

I mean , so we can agree , okay , okay okay .

Speaker 2 51:46

So I don't feel like we like far yeah we're not that far apart .

Speaker 5 51:49

The whole gift giving , everyone agrees .

Speaker 3 51:52

Yeah , I think we agree the separate gift I'm still on the fence with , but I can see a possibility .

Speaker 4 51:57

You're a hater . That's why , no , I agree . I agree with Glenn . I think that you know your only commonality with this person is your child and you give your gift to your child , regardless of what it is . You know , if they're in necessity like we talked earlier about the washing machine if they are in necessity and your child will benefit from whatever it is that they need absolutely go for it For what your child will benefit from . But if , bitch , my kid is grown and you need a , washing machine .

Speaker 2 52:27

You need to talk to somebody else . But Ness honestly think about it , though Whatever I do and how I treat her mom , she's always going to benefit . Whether it's a gift or how I treat her , she's always going to benefit . So I hate what you're saying , but how I treat her mother while we're not together dictates how our relationship is going to be going forward .

Speaker 5 52:45

But you already know , as a licensed social worker , okay , that all of these relationships are going to fall back down on the kid . That's what they see right . So that's what my goal is . I'm trying to have my kids see the best version so that their relationships are healthy .

Speaker 4 53:04

Right and you can be respectful without having to do the extra stuff .

Speaker 3 53:09

I think I could take my six-year-old , I could take her and say look , we're gonna give mommy a birthday gift , we're gonna get mommy a christmas gift , whatever , and we could do that together . And then I could I could like supplement that with something even nicer , right , because the child's gonna do childish things . I'm gonna say but wait , wouldn't mommy love ?

Speaker 5 53:24

that's what she was saying . Like that's , the supplementing is not supposed to happen .

Speaker 3 53:30

No , with the child , but through the child . It's not separate . This is from daddy and daughter to the mom .

Speaker 4 53:36

This is from daughter , it's implied that daddy paid for it , and we understand that .

Speaker 5 53:47

so he can't say he can't say . He can't say from daddy issue that you have from daddy .

Speaker 4 53:51

That's what I'm trying to figure out it's not that that I have the issue , but when you talk about separate and again , if we're talking about I'm not buying my ex that I don't have a child with . I have severed ties with that person and I understand that you have a child , but that is don't have a child with . I have severed ties with that person and I understand that you have a child , but that is your commonality the child , so everything . The child , I agree should be the vehicle , like the relationship is severed but you can have friends with an ex .

Speaker 3 54:15

You can be friends with an ex though , right yeah ? Oh , well see well then then , kind of back to Tyson's point then , because if you can be friends with an ex , they could be like a co-worker . You could have met them at work even .

Speaker 2 54:24

Right , and you could give them gifts Just like a co-worker . That part she's like nah man , I'm Puerto .

Speaker 3 54:29

Rican Listen .

Speaker 2 54:31

What's the point of Puerto Rican .

Speaker 4 54:32

We cut bitches . Okay , we don't like I don't .

Speaker 2 54:39

And I think that's the issue .

Speaker 5 54:40

But when they are it's the problem . I think you can be friends with an ex . But how ? Why do you ?

Speaker 4 54:48

want to be friends with an ex , that relationship is severed . Why do ?

Speaker 3 54:52

you want to be friends , it transitions to a different type of relationship . You want to be friends with that person because you want to leave the roads open .

Speaker 5 54:59

Whether it be sex or whatever else you want to leave the roads open . Back to podcast episode number one .

Speaker 2 55:06

Right , you guys are confusing things . Back to podcast . You guys are confusing things .

Speaker 4 55:09

There's no friendship with it , because I could tell you all of my exes that I've ended like , oh , we're going to be friends , yeah , while we were fucking still , and then we were not friends anymore .

Speaker 2 55:21

Put kids into the mix . I think we're mixing apart the kids .

Speaker 5 55:23

That's making me worry that I'm coming over to see the kids .

Speaker 2 55:26

No , you guys are confusing . I mean , maybe because I have a kid and I have a couple of kids , you got a partner .

Speaker 3 55:33

Right .

Speaker 1 55:34

All the kids as me .

Speaker 2 55:37

When I look at her and let's just say she's my ex , we're done . When and let's just say she's my ex , you know we're done . When I look at her , all the things we've been through you know we've raised the kids , we've been through this stuff At the minimum she deserves to me , she deserves a gift . Not to say that you know I want to be with her or anything Agreed . I still have to . Still , and it's just the back of my mind . No matter what I do , she's still the mother of my children .

Speaker 2 56:00

Right she raised them to the point where you know .

Speaker 5 56:02

I can see both points in this situation Right .

Speaker 2 56:04

So she raised them to a point . So I have to . I want to continue Like , like , once we break up , they don't stop being my kids . She still . She don't stop being my baby mother . So I want to still continue to show her that , listen , we're not together , I'm in love with someone else , mother of my kids , and you still have the direction show the direction of my kids where they're going to end up . So I want to show you my appreciation . I don't want to give my kid a gift .

Speaker 5 56:31

I think there's so many people that fuck it up for this situation that we're like no , no , my point is that you can continue to be respectful , you can continue to be a partner and child rearing .

Speaker 4 56:44

gifts don't have to be a part of that . Gifts to me say something else . So you know what ? Let's take your boo out of it .

Speaker 2 56:51

Let's take your boo out of it . Let's just say you have kids Wait time out . Let's say you have kids right , I have kids . You have kids and you're not with your baby daddy anymore .

Speaker 4 57:05

What do you want him to still show ?

Speaker 3 57:06

you some type of respect ? You don't want to ask me that because I really like getting gifts . See , this shit all comes out . You know what I'm saying and that's what it is .

Speaker 4 57:11

I enjoy getting gifts , and when I get gifts , I enjoy thoughtful gifts . I enjoy gifts that are made for me . I enjoy gifts that because I take it as this person really thought about me .

Speaker 5 57:26

So you know what I think . I think the amazon gift card . I think the answer would be .

Speaker 2 57:28

I think the answer would be different if the person , if you was your ex-baby daddy was like listen , you're just you're . You're my kid's mother . Listen , I don't want nothing else to do with you , and if you get a gift , it's gonna be from him . I don't care , I just want you to take care of her , and that's it . I think you're looking at it a little different .

Speaker 4 57:43

Okay , I'm getting a gift from my child and it's because you want me to take care of this child . I know you paid for the gift . I know that .

Speaker 2 57:50

Right , but it's a difference between me giving money to my daughter to give to you as opposed to me giving you something .

Speaker 5 57:58

It seems like it's a little bit more effort .

Speaker 2 57:59

Right effort . Right listen , like I listen . We're not together , but I do know that you need a washer . I do know you that you need this . I you know , last time I dropped my daughter off to see you for a visit , or you dropped off the visit , I noticed that your bag was busted . I want to get you a bag , it just just thank you , I'm just you know , I want to tell you that we couldn't , whatever we had going on .

Speaker 5 58:17

Well , whoever that baby daddy is , you send him our way right because , we won't talk to him .

Speaker 2 58:24

Let's just say the guy is thinking like he said listen , you know , we had , we had our issues . We just couldn't work . We , you know , we had our child . But I want to know that everything that we have in the past , I appreciate it . I do appreciate it and that's all it is . I'm not saying that my husband is like he's not giving you a , he's not trying to give you lingerie , anything like that . He's just like listen , like listen , I'm going to give you a gift . You know , don't let it go to your head . I'm just saying that you .

Speaker 4 58:47

Well , I accept all gifts , including bags and accessories .

Speaker 3 58:52

And since you guys are so giving .

Speaker 4 58:55

I just want to say that I want to tell you that my womb is open . Your womb , it's like that my womb is open , your womb .

Speaker 5 59:04

It's open like that .

Speaker 3 59:06

My womb is open and if you guys want to give gifts , I'm just saying it could be from daddy and daughter or daddy and son . I'll take any kind of gifts . I take all gifts .

Speaker 4 59:16

I enjoy shoes and bags and makeup and I enjoy spa gifts .

Speaker 2 59:24

So what does everybody take away there ? What do you ? What's your final ? What's your final word ?

Speaker 3 59:33

it's complicated .

Speaker 2 59:34

It's complicated okay , you mean what's your word ? Yes , you could buy gifts and and everything's gonna be okay .

Speaker 5 59:43

Everything will be okay . I'm telling you It'll be alright , I'm sure .

Speaker 2 59:46

Antoine , what you saying ?

Speaker 5 59:49

If kids are involved , yes , Wait time out , so we didn't hear from Flyboy . Really too much , so what ?

Speaker 3 59:54

do you mean ? I said what I said .

Speaker 5 59:55

He said If kids are , involved , but we can't buy gifts Without kids .

Speaker 2 59:58

No , no See , that's different . I don't know .

Speaker 4 1:00:01

Maybe I don't think Without the kids involved . There's no time . If I'm buying gifts For my ex without kids , I mean he's giving me some .

Speaker 5 1:00:07

I'm sorry , I meant to rephrase so if A kid can give a gift , but if he's giving a gift Without Like in addition to that's not Okay .

Speaker 1 1:00:16

If they're taking care Of your child , sure , but if there's no kids involved , I'm Okay . If there's no kids involved .

Speaker 2 1:00:23

I agree with .

Speaker 1 1:00:24

Ness Right .

Speaker 5 1:00:24

No kids involved . I agree with that .

Speaker 2 1:00:27

But if kids involved .

Speaker 5 1:00:28

You can't give separate gifts . You can't give two separate gifts .

Speaker 2 1:00:30

I would give two separate gifts .

Speaker 5 1:00:31

Oh yeah , you could yeah .

Speaker 2 1:00:32

Okay .

Navigating Co-Parenting Gift Etiquette

Speaker 4 1:00:42

So , like she said , I'm sure the baby Right Wait , hold on .

Speaker 2 1:00:44

That makes sense Well yes , that makes sense .

Speaker 4 1:00:47

That does make sense . Yes and no . There's a difference between a Beamer or a Benz and a Honda .

Speaker 1 1:00:53

Right , okay .

Speaker 3 1:00:54

Right Simple .

Speaker 2 1:00:55

Okay , you're right .

Speaker 3 1:00:56

Right .

Speaker 2 1:00:56

Mac , what are you saying ? I say all Beamer Benz and Bentley , all , all gifts at that stage have to be channeled through the child .

Speaker 3 1:01:02

No separate gifts , I'm sorry . No separate gifts no separate gifts , point taken the child . I'm with G-Mac , but you can blow the gift up . Now . You can blow it . It could be a car . This is from me and our baby .

Speaker 5 1:01:13

So it just has to say from the baby .

Speaker 3 1:01:16

Yeah , or from us , so that's how you slip it in .

Speaker 2 1:01:18

I'm going to get you in his house , but it's going to save you , you smooth his house . Yeah , they call me .

Speaker 4 1:01:23

That's because he still wants the ties .

Speaker 5 1:01:30

This nigga smooth his house . The soul searcher .

Speaker 4 1:01:33

Yes , I will purchase you a vehicle for the ties , for the baby .

Speaker 3 1:01:37

I'm done , never again there we go .

Speaker 2 1:01:48

That was good , that was good . I'm going to move . We went an hour and two minutes .

Speaker 3 1:01:55

Did I tell you y'all was fools . Y'all are absolute fools . I like when this is a little tipsy , like slightly tipsy she is , because you're super smart . You throw a little tipsy , like slightly tipsy she is Cause you , you , super smart , I'm pretty smart . You throw a little tipsiness in there , you get all bold A little razzle dazzle , a little razzle dazzle for you , oba , oba .

Speaker 4 1:02:15

You know , I'm just feeling like kids .

Speaker 5 1:02:18

She's like nah , bitch , nah , you ain't sending no gifts Ever .

Speaker 4 1:02:23

No , but I did buy Junior's mom a gift .

Speaker 5 1:02:25

I did you bought her a card with tokens From him .

Speaker 4 1:02:29

Right .

Speaker 3 1:02:29

From him , but you know why .

Speaker 4 1:02:31

You know why so she text Sean she text Sean . Oh , how did you know ? The card is so perfect . How did you know ?

Speaker 1 1:02:40

Oh , she text Sean .